A new journey has begun...

1 Samuel 1:27

"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."

Luke 1:46-49

Mary’s Song

And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations will call me blessed,

for the Mighty One has done great things for me— holy is his name."

I have imagined at least a thousand times what it would be like to write this blog entry, and yet, I find myself at a loss for words. We are so overwhelmed with gratitude and joy! After 4 IVF transfers that ended in disappointment, we are thrilled to announce that our 5th transfer has resulted in our much anticipated miracle pregnancy!!! ALL and we mean ALL the glory to God, who led us to our new clinic, ORM, and for guiding the hands of our physician, embryologist, nurses, and acupuncturist! Thank you, Lord for this blessed miracle we have desired and prayed for for the last three and a half years! So many things were different this time around, however, we firmly believe that God is the only one who can give life to our babies. God knew we needed to change clinics and he used the amazing team at ORM to orchestrate our miracle. Our God is faithful...so incredibly faithful. Amen?! Amen, Amen, Amen!!

Here is how one of the happiest days of our lives unfolded...

We headed to our clinic on Sunday morning (May 30) to pick up another vial of progesterone because I did not have enough to get me through my pregnancy test on June 1. Before we got there, I told Paul I was going to ask if they would be willing to draw my blood for my pregnancy test that day. I knew my test was originally supposed to be that day, but with the holiday weekend they pushed it back 2 days. It can't hurt to ask, right? Well, the gal at the front desk said no, but I persisted (this journey has given me plenty of practice in that area) and asked her to ask my doctor, who I could hear in the background. She was reluctant, but said she would. Tick, tock, tick tock...what's taking her so long? Those 5 minutes felt like 20, but when I saw her face, I knew we would be getting our blood test that day! My doctor came out and said it would not be a problem to have it done that day...GULP....CHURN...CHURN...CHURN...WE ARE GOING TO FIND OUT TODAY!!!! Suddenly, both of us were feeling anxious, excited, and like we needed to visit the rest room to take care of the nerves...I know, TMI :)

After my blood was drawn, Paul and I walked out to our car that sat in the parking garage. We no further settled into our seats and the tears began to flow down my cheeks. It was too late to fight them back, they were coming whether I wanted them to or not. Paul extended his hand to my cheek to stop them from streaming and he said, "God has a very large jar of your tears in Heaven." Yes, I bet He does. And he confidently said, "we are pregnant, this is our time."

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8

How beautiful is that? God cares about each and every tear that falls--not one of them is hidden from Him.

These tears of mine were different though. They emerged out of the depth of my soul. My deepest longing to be a mommy and give Paul the honor of being a daddy was just hours away from being confirmed or denied and I was desperate. I so desperately wanted this to be our time. I was not crying because I thought our results were going to be negative, I was crying because I was emotionally and physiologically exhausted. It felt so good to just release my fears and anxiety and give it all to the Lord.

The next hour, we continued to sit in the car as we listened to the CD I had made for our transfer. Each song seem to say just the right thing for the moment...

"Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Whatever's in front of me help me to sing, Hallelujah."

"Be still and know that He is God

Be still and know that He is faithful

Consider all that He has done

Stand in awe and be amazed

And know that He will never change

Be still"

"Help me believe cause I don't want to miss any miracles"

I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new,

that's what faith can do"

"Lord open the doors, cause I'm moving on faith"

"Everything is possible with You"

We listened and we poured our hearts out to God, knowing that He is faithful and desires to hear from us.

We drove home and Paul suggested that we take our bunny, "Hope" and prayer blanket into the nursery to wait for the phone call. We read the story "Guess How Much I Love You" to our little babies and waited. Then we waited some more. Oh, the agony of waiting for this phone call! The next thing I know, Paul busts out a crossword puzzle on his phone...hmmm...that sounds good, I guess. We go through a few clues and then I look down at my phone and it says "MISSED CALL." WHAT?! HOW DID I MISS IT WHEN IT NEVER RANG?! Sure enough it was my clinic and they were calling again. I quickly answered:

Me: Hello?

Her: Hi, is this Gretchen?

Me: Yes!

Her: Gretchen, are you there? I can't hear you.

Me: Yes, Yes, I'm here!!!

Her: Gretchen, if you can hear me, I'm going to try calling you back.

Me: NO! I'm here!

Her: Okay, I will call you right back.

click.

TH-THUMP! TH-THUMP! TH-THUMP!

Both of our hearts were pounding so hard, I thought I could hear them! We ran down stairs and then she called back.

Me: Hello!

Her: Hi Gretchen, This is Kaitlyn from ORM, How are you?

Me: Um, Good?!

Her: Well, I have great news...YOU ARE PREGNANT!

Me: GASP! Really?!

Her: Yes, everything looks good, do you need a minute to process?

Me: No, go ahead and tell me the details!

(Paul and I are jumping up and down, crying tears of joy!)

Here are the details so far:

Shots will continue through the first tri-mester!

May 30th, 2010

HCG (pregnancy hormone) test #1: 97.8 (they want it above 50)

Progesterone: 45.1

Estradiol: 906

June 1, 2010

HCG: 212 (they are looking for this number to double every other day, so far, so good!)

June 3, 2010

HCG #3: will update when I know...praying for this to be good, too!!

Ultrasound scheduled for Friday, June 18th at 9:00 a.m. to hopefully see the heartbeat(s) and see if we have been blessed with one or 2 miracles! We will be thrilled with either, but are praying for both :)

Just as we have learned to trust God in the past when we cannot see what the future holds, our new journey requires the same. Will this pregnancy go to term? Will our baby(ies) be healthy? Only God knows the answer to these questions, so the journey to trust in Him continues. We are choosing to celebrate and rejoice with each day we are given with these miracles inside. We love them so much already! This pregnancy is a gift, it was not earned or deserved. Our Heavenly Father loves to give good gifts to His children because He loves us and knows what is best, whatever that may be. Lord, these babies are Yours. Thank you for the opportunity to care for them. Help us to celebrate these gifts without fear or reservation each and every day.

Okay, it's late and I need to get these babies to bed! Please pray for a safe and healthy pregnancy. We would not be here if it weren't for all of our prayer warriors! Prayer is so powerful and effective. Thank you does not even begin to express our gratitude to our supporters. We love you!

In Christ,

Gretchen, Paul, and the tots ;)