The plan for this month is to make sure I ovulate by having an hCG trigger shot once my egg matures to the right size and pray for the Lord to bless us with a miracle. I will also be taking progesterone daily to try and lengthen my cycle by about 3-4 days. If we are not pregnant, we will plan to transfer some of our frozen embryos mid February. If the progesterone successfully lengthens my cycle by 3-4 days, we will be able to transfer our embryos naturally (without any hormones). If the progesterone does not lengthen my cycle, I will have to take estradiol, and pray that my body cooperates by not bleeding. We would love for you to join us as we pray for a miracle this cycle. If we are not pregnant, please pray for my cycle to lengthen, so that we can transfer our embryos naturally.
This past week has been a wonderful reflection time for Paul and I. The Lord has been revealing various blessings as we wait for our miracle. Paul talked about the blessings we have on our fridge~4 photographs of our 8 embryos that were transferred, but sadly went home to be with Jesus. Being able to see our tiny embryos is remarkable and something only the Lord gets to see, unless you go through IVF. We truly treasure these photos. They are a daily reminder that only the Lord can breathe life into our embryos and that He is in control. Our doctor can help, but our hope is in the Lord.
Another blessing I'm learning to appreciate is the added time I have in prayer. The Lord knows I am prone to fear (unhealthy, obsessive worrying, too) and could use this time to ask for His help in this area. If/when I am blessed with a child, I do not want to spend my pregnancy riddled with fear that He will take this child away and then spend the next 3 months after they are born obsessing about SIDS, and then the next few years worrying about this, that, and the other thing. The Lord has brought this issue of fear and worrying to my mind several times and I am thankful for this time to pray and discover where I am weak and need strength. My favorite verse on this journey has been "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27
Paul and I have shared this blessing countless times, but I'm going to say it again. The Lord has used this journey to draw us closer to Him, one another, and others who need encouragement. The fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22) that have been developed in us individually and as a couple are priceless. You can't just ask God to give you patience, kindness, or faithfulness and expect that they will be yours. God teaches you how to be patient, kind and faithful by allowing you to go through situations where you have the opportunity to practice patience, kindness, and faithfulness. So, we practice. Somedays it's easy and we feel strong and other days it's incredibly challenging and we need to pray for strength. I'm confident, that even now, without our miracle in front of us, this journey is worth it.
So, with all that said, we are eager to see what God has for us in 2010! Our path has taken many painful detours, but God has faithfully guided us along the way. As I was reading today, "I will never forget this awful time as I grieve over my loss. YET I STILL DARE TO HOPE WHEN I REMEMBER THIS: THE UNFAILING LOVE OF THE LORD NEVER ENDS! BY HIS MERCIES WE HAVE BEEN KEPT FROM COMPLETE DESTRUCTION." Lamentations 3:19-22
This is why we hope~our God's love never fails.
Blessings and love,
Gretchen & Paul
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