Update

Paul and I met with my doctor yesterday and everything looked pretty good according to the ultrasound. My egg is maturing well and my lining is getting nice and fluffy. He wanted us to hold off on doing the hCG trigger shot until this evening to give my egg a couple more days to mature before releasing it. Once we trigger tonight, my egg should release in 36 hours. It's amazing that even after 3 years of trying to get pregnant the old fashioned way, without success, that we are still excited and hopeful that this could be our miracle month. We are constantly being reminded that "Nothing is impossible with God." (Luke 1:37) Over a year ago, I purchased this wooden sign that will hang in our nursery someday:

Something happened yesterday that I thought was pretty cool. Maybe it was coincidental, but then again, maybe it wasn't. I'm not one to turn everything into a "God orchestrated event", but this is also not the first time something like this has happened. I have an infertility support group that meets every Tuesday evening. We have been working through this book, "What is God Waiting For~Embracing the Divine Delays in Your Life," for quite some time now. In fact, we have been trying to discuss Ch. 8 for months now, but it has continuously been put on the back burner for various reasons. As I was re-reading that chapter last night, a few of her thoughts really resonated with me, so I highlighted them. One of them was this:

"Nothing is wasted in God's economy. The events leading up to a miracle are just as significant as the miracle itself."

This is exactly what my friend, Raquel, had shared with our group a year and a half ago that God used to turn the lightbulb on for me. She didn't use those exact words, but I remember her sharing about how the real miracle is not about the baby, it's about the journey.

I liked that quote so much that I shared it with Paul when he got home from work and then decided to make it my "status update" on Facebook.

So, one of the things that Paul and I decided to do in the New Year is a devotional for couples going through infertility and also a book on Hope. We do the devotional in the evenings together and the book on Hope in the mornings, individually. Our devotional last night was entitled "The Need For Patience"...how appropriate. The author goes on to say this:

"Each step seems slow and deliberate, yet He promises to give us the endurance to complete the journey day by day. An old proverb states, "In God's economy, nothing is wasted." The time you spend waiting today can become the critical time God uses to prepare you for the answers to your prayers."

Maybe it's coincidental, but then again, maybe it's not. I think the Lord is reminding us that although it is painful, there is purpose in this waiting. I need to remember that. We need to embrace that truth. When the wait feels unbearable and our patience is wearing thin, we need to hold on to what we know to be true: In God's infinite wisdom and care for us, He has allowed us to wait for a child.

With tears streaming down my face, I will trust in you, Lord.