Cancelled...again :(

Here we are, at 3 years of infertility this month, and another door has been slammed shut regarding our frozen embryo transfer. In December, we had to cancel due to an ovarian cyst I developed. Now, we need to cancel because my lining did not thicken appropriately (only a 5-6, should be at least an 8), I started spotting (AGAIN), and I had already ovulated (which I already suspected). The main reason we will not be able to transfer our frozen tots is because of the inadequate endometrial lining and the unusual spotting that has accompanied it.

It truly does not make sense to us. What's also frustrating is that my clinic only does IVF related procedures every OTHER month and on top of that, the embryologist is only there 2 weeks out of that month. No big deal for the average woman that is a patient at my clinic because their body responds appropriately to the hormones and they are able to fit nicely in their schedule. My body, however, is "unique," as my doctor put it. It tends to bleed for NO apparent rhyme or reason at very inopportune times resulting in the cancellation of multiple cycles. So, the only option we have is to try again next month and hope that we are able to conceive on our own. If that is not successful, we see if my body will cooperate by fitting into the 2 week window in April for a frozen transfer.

But, there is another option. We just need prayer on whether this is the path that God wants us to take. There is another clinic in Portland that is much larger than the one I am currently at. They have 4 physicians that work with IVF patients and they do IVF every month. The downsides are it is more expensive and we would have to leave our doctor, whom we happen to like and have gotten to know these past 2 years. Did I mention that this place is more expensive?? Ugh, infertility treatments are expensive everywhere, but this place is a bit more :( We don't want to put a price tag on our child, but we also want to be wise stewards of our money. It's just plain sickening...

Since our last negative IVF in October, I have often thought about getting a 2nd opinion elsewhere. I had anticipated it being further down the road, but that was before the last 2 frozen transfers got cancelled. Each month that we are not able to transfer our embryos is another month of allowing my endometriosis to grow back, which also decreases our chances of conceiving. Unfortunately, time is not our friend. The urgency is not just about not wanting to wait any longer. It's about increasing our chances of getting pregnant.

This clinic has a "free" seminar this Tuesday, February 16th from 7-8:30 p.m. (this will be the only thing that will ever be free from then on out). We will get to meet one of their doctors in a group setting with other people and hopefully be able to ask a few questions. From there, we will pray and decide about whether we should pursue them for a consultation/2nd opinion. If we do decide to do that, we will need to let my current clinic know and retrieve my records from them. I really don't want to leave, but my gut is telling me it may be time to move on. Sometimes, you just need a different set of eyes to look at a situation. This clinic will have 4 sets of eyes reviewing my case and deciding what is best for me. Who knows, they may have a different approach that works well for my body, but we won't know, unless we give them a try. That's my feeling, at least. Oh, and their pregnancy success rates are about 10-15% higher.

Like I said, Paul and I plan to pray about this and we hope you will, too. This is a very big deal to us, and we want to make sure we are truly listening to God's plan for us. We welcome your thoughts, advice, and wisdom with open arms. If God brings us to your mind, please pray as we make these tough decisions in the coming weeks.

With love,

Gretchen & Paul